We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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