Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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