two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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