***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
