Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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