So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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