I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
