Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

where are you

(303): View more from Colorado

in your bedroom

(602): View more from Arizona

how did you get in

(303): View more from Colorado

your wife…

(602): View more from Arizona

WTF

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(602): where are you (303): in your bedroom (602): how did you get in (303): your wife… (602): WTF http://tfl.nu/cmfn

Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (2068)
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(917): View more from New York City

You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?

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(917): You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower? http://tfl.nu/keh5

Replies (1) Good night (1108) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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(908): Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold http://tfl.nu/axfw

Replies (24) Good night (6256) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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(704): I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better. http://tfl.nu/5ydt

Replies (15) Good night (3061) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.

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(541): I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR. http://tfl.nu/y3sk

Replies (48) Good night (3282) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.

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(215): He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that. http://tfl.nu/u001

Replies (12) Good night (1939) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.

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(540): my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened. http://tfl.nu/bhgb

Replies (47) Good night (1899) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.

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(267): I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/m0z8

Replies (10) Good night (1027) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.

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(406): He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell. http://tfl.nu/7ioa

Replies (11) Good night (1175) Bad night (732)
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(301): View more from Maryland

FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.

(727): View more from Florida

MAS TEQUILA.

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(301): FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE. (727): MAS TEQUILA. http://tfl.nu/9ggd

Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (463)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

(847): View more from Illinois

Do you believe in miracles?

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(224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830

Replies (5) Good night (1202) Bad night (428)
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(631): View more from New York

Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?

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(631): Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"? http://tfl.nu/xfwq

Replies (6) Good night (1135) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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(914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga

Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.

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(612): I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away. http://tfl.nu/5and

Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.

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(708): I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun. http://tfl.nu/pax3

Replies (1) Good night (146) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt

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