Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused