That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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