I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment