I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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