I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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