thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I didn't notice because vodka
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
