talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
