I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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