You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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