and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
