Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
