Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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