Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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