So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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