Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
