Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
