the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
