And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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