Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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