the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
