NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
