belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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