Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
