Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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