you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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