Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
