this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
