I cockslap morals
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
