shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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