Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize