I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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