I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
