..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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