What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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