The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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