Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
