I think i peed on brittanys purse
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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