That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
