Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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