I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
