Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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