when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The air was thick with penises
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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