Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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