I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The beer is more important than you right now.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
