fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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