Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
