but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
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Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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