just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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