There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
