Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This house was built for laser tag.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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