There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
