Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
