i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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