What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
