i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
