tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
