don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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