Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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