No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize