I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize