If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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