Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
