My liver just broke up with me...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
