Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
